Review: Patchwork (2017)

Patchwork (2017)

Review by Rebecca Kolodziej

Patchwork is a 2017 bombastic modern retelling of Frankenstein’s monster done with a twist. When we think of the Frankenstein we think of the stiff, leering green giant dressed in rags, who wears clunky shoes, has bolts in his neck and stitches in his overly tall head. This is the image that Boris Karloff portrayed of the humanized monster, our dear Frank is pictured as a lumbering male pile of limbs who has more heart than all of us put together. So , it was exciting when I stumbled upon across Tyler’s Macintyre’s indie classic ‘PATCHWORK’. Admittedly I didn’t expect great things from this film I dragged from the depths of on demand movies but as time went on I greedily ate my words.

‘PATCHWORK’ excited me with it’s interesting plot and awesome character developments. The whole thing had me in stitches! Quite literally in this case.

The film follows three murdered women who wake up on an operating table to there horror discovering that they’ve been stitched together. Yep. The protagonist in this film are literally three women in one body! ‘The Frankenbabe!’

At first I thought this idea to be a cheap disaster but as time went on i’m so glad I invested the time to see it through. We have three women, Jennifer, a friendless, disliked, snotty nosed office worker (Tory Stolper), Ellie, the blonde barbie sorority girl who dreams of a life that she could never have (Tracey Fairaway) and Madeline, the awkward fiery haired girl next door. (Maria Blasucci). We follow the lives of these three women through one pair of eyes as we learn how they were picked out and tracked down to become the abomination.

I loved the homage that PATCHWORK paid to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. In this movie you have everything. The mad Scientist, the other gross ‘creations’ but most importantly the ‘OWLCAT’ yes you haven’t gone mad. You did read that right. PATCHWORK not only provides you with a funny female zombarbie it also gives you the owl cat creature. A black cat merged with the wings of an owl! (i want one so bad) half cat and half owl! (twit meow)

“Fly Archimedes. Fly’ (Mad Scientist)

The gimmicky idea of mashing three women into one body was what peaked my attention to watch the film in the first place. PATCHWORK contains everything that a fan of comedy horror could want. We have lots of cheese. Buckets full of blood and gore! (a win for me because I am a gore whore) plenty of sarcasm and of course the crux of the film; reanimated corpses. (duh).

If there is anyone who deserves a shout out it’s the special effects team for pulling miracles out of their butts for creating such a spectacular freak show for my twisted delight! I was devilishly enthralled by the putrid gore supplied to me in gallons and I for one am forever grateful. I can’t get enough gore in horror films.

Winning 8 awards PATCHWORK definitely deserves to be recognized for its badass comedy quality. If you love things like this then you must definitely check it out!

There were a few glitches in the film but I can happily overlook them for the simple greatness that Tyler Macintyre created. It is plain to see why the film has won eight awards! (uh, because it’s fucking awesome!)

So fiends what are you waiting for? go check it out!

My rating: 7/10

Check out Rebecca’s website for more horror writing

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