Are you currently engulfed in Christmas shopping? Among the seasonal traditions is the ‘most wanted‘ toys list, detailing the most frequently requested toys when kids send off their letters to Father Christmas. While Disney and LEGO are predictably topping the list, we wanted to show you some of the toys your child definitely won’t want to find under the tree. Here’s some genuinely creepy toys that even us horror fans wouldn’t like to encounter on a dark December morning.
The Jolly Chimp design has existed since the 1950s, with the musical toys typically banging cymbals together and screeching when activated. The toys were often painted with red colouring around their eyes and teeth, which may be why they have a crazed, alarming appearance. Either way, these chimps look anything but jolly.
Does your child really, really want to recreate fatal accidents with their toys. If so, we’d recommend getting in touch with a therapist – but maybe also treating them to a toy from this range. There’s mutilated pets, roadkill, and even realistic accident scenes including a bike crash and shark attack.
We’re all for teaching kids about obscure sea creatures, but something seems a little off with The Avenging Narwhal. The description explains ” The narwhal uses its tusk to impale the cute animals of the world, specifically baby seals, baby penguins and koalas.” The cuddly critters even have little cross-hares on their chest to make sure the tusk properly pieces their hearts.
Something about Xeno’s luminous green eyes and skin that resembles a model from a Cronenberg movie creeps us out. He’s apparently a pretty popular toy this Christmas, but we just can’t get over his ungodly appearance. Plus, when the Amazon listing promises that Xeno is capable of ‘real emotions’, he becomes an even more unwelcome houseguest.
Erwin the Little Patient was probably created with the best intentions. And while it might teach children about the workings of their organs, we’re a little concerned it might lead to them wanting to see how the cat’s organs also work.
Playmobil 5177 City Action Bank with Safe might have you wondering why small children would want to re-enact the exciting job of a bank teller. Until you see that the set is actually focused on bank robbery. We know kids have been playing ‘Cops and Robbers’ forever, but we never thought we’d see a smiling Playmobile bank manager looking rather bemused as a gun is pointed at his face.
Baby dolls are hard not to make scary. If they’re hyper-realistic, it’s unsettling. If the designer goes a more abstract route – they can still turn out pretty terrifying. Cloth Doll Babies might be softer than their plastic counterparts, but there no way any child would actually want to cuddle this thing.
It was probably important at one point in history for kids to kill and dissect their own food. However, it’s probably easier nowadays to just send them to the local shop – rather than teach the skill with this wooden fish gutting toy.
Happy Christmas kids – don’t have nightmares!