15 Problems All Horror Movie Fans Will Understand

Horror fans are a misunderstood breed, as we’re going to be exploring in our new webcomic. But before then, we thought we’d compile a list of 15 problems all horror fans will relate to.

1. You were probably way too young when you saw your first horror movie.

A lot of horror fans tell us that their love for all things spooky started young. Some kids are just drawn to movie monsters, but most of us just end up populating horror conventions rather than becoming serial killers.

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2. Halloween is a bigger deal than Christmas.

Halloween is the one time of year where you have a licence to be as gruesome as you please. Horror fanatics often put a lot of work into their costumes, and show amazing creativity when decorating their homes. It always irritates you however, that Christmas lasts two months while Jack O Lanterns in September is met with confusion.

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3. And when it does come around, you have to settle on a costume.

You always feel you should represent horror on Halloween. But you’re knowledge of the genre is so extensive that you struggle to decide on an era – never mind a specific character. Maybe a Universal monster – to get some history in there. But you’d really need to find another horror fan to do the Monster and the Bride – and other horror fans can be hard to find. Maybe you should do something more obscure, or an indie film – or is that too hipster? The possibilities are endless.

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4. You experience extreme anger when you hear that one of your favourite movies is being remade.

Just…no.

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5. You find yourself using incognito mode…a lot.

It’s a lot easier than explaining to your mother, friends or significant other why your search history contains searches like ‘goriest cannibal movies’. 

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6. You hate how much horror is snubbed by film nerds.

Or worse, people who say ‘horror movies are only for Halloween’

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7. You’ve been forced to buy some terrible sequels to complete your collection.

Parts three through seven might have sucked – but eight was decent and eight would look stupid next to two.

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8. You’re just a little warier of children.

Kids in horror movies rarely play nice. If most of your exposure to them comes from the media, then you might keep a little extra distance between yourself and the new baby in the family.

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9. And you might have been a little surprised the first time you had to go into hospital too.

So those masks aren’t covering up their rotten flesh? Just checking.

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10. All those horror films haven’t put you off haunted houses though.

You just know how to negotiate on price. “Bloody pentagram in the cellar – that should knock a bit off the asking price!”

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11. Everyday objects look like murder weapons

You’re probably the most peaceful, loving individual on the planet – but be honest. What was your first answer to the question – ‘what are chainsaws for?’

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12. You can’t understand people who are easily scared.

You love a good scare, but people who jump out of their seats during the latest recycled Hollywood remake confuse you. You’re so hardened to jump-scares by this point that they’re just part of a movie soundtrack – so seeing people cower at loud noises is an eye-opener.

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13. Being so desensitised has it’s drawbacks though.

Sometimes you’re a tiny bit jealous of your friends who were terrified during Insidious.  You’ve spent years trawling the video stores and the internet trying to find something that will truly scare you. And sometimes you forget that other people don’t see slashers as their best buddies the way you do.

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14. You’ve seen enough horror to know how it works.

And that gets you frustrated with the characters.

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15. And you constantly have to reassure people that you’re not a serial killer.

You probably enjoy hot chocolate and cuddles and kittens – but accompanying extreme gore. And that’s okay!

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2 thoughts on “15 Problems All Horror Movie Fans Will Understand

  • castlefrank88@gmail.com'
    August 28, 2015 at 6:25 am
    Permalink

    My childhood was during the VHS boom of the late 80’s thru the 90’s and my mother wasn’t strict about what me and my brother watched, so I watched just about every horror film in the video store, and anything I could record on HBO about ten times over. I’ve been desensitized to horror movies since I saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre with my cousins when I was 8, and I learned how to count (in Roman numerals) watching Friday the 13th movies instead of Sesame Street as a kid. It’s funny, because people know me as a movie/horror guy, so they always ask me what some of the scariest movies are, and I don’t know what to tell them because movies just don’t scare me the way they do other, less hardened human beings with actual emotions and stuff. That, or they tell me that like; “Oh man, I was so scared watching The Conjuring.” I’m just like; “Really, The Conjuring scared you?” I don’t know, to me that’s like eating mild salsa and complaining that it’s too hot. Or being like; “Man, I’m so drunk,” when they’ve only had like one beer.

    Reply
    • deannahodge1@gmail.com'
      December 23, 2015 at 1:06 pm
      Permalink

      I feel your pain. 🙂

      Reply

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